Life Story of Richard

 I don’t really know where to begin this is a very sad but true story which is still ongoing in 2021. Whenever I think about him, which is often,  I get mixed feelings of guilt, anger, frustration, helplessness and sadness.

Richard was born in the Philippines to a Filipino mother, one of my five sisters, and an unknown African American serviceman of the USAF. At that time, the Philippines, a former US colony, hosted several facilities for the US navy and air-force. The story that I heard was that his mother, a vulnerable young woman with learning difficulties and as we now know, autism, she went to stay with our relatives in the main island of Luzon, to seek greener pastures. While working as a helper in a bar, someone took advantage of her vulnerability and Richard was the result.

In many Asian countries to my knowledge, people discriminate against fellow human beings who are of a darker skin colour. I think it’s something to do with social class, because lower class people, the poor ones, tend to do manual work under the heat of the sun, thus making their skin much darker than their original brown colour. They are regarded as ignorant peasants. Unfortunately, this is literally true. My mother’s family were so poor, she’d lost her father when she was a young age, she had to help her mother to raised her younger siblings. That made her oftentimes late going to school, when at the school the teacher won’t allowed her to get inside the classroom because of her tardiness, besides from that she doesn’t have any school equipments, as basic as pencil and paper, and her clothes were tatty too. However, she was so determined to learn that she used to stand in the doorway in the open sided class room to listen to the teachers’ lessons and used any pieces of discarded paper and pencil she could find on the ground (cruel society). Her persistence paid off, eventually the teacher let her joined the class. Horay! Victory for her.

Philippines is a developing country, hence a develoving Provinces.

Filipinos have multiple ethnicity, being a mixtures of Malay, Chinese, Caucasian, European, Native bloods and others. There is also a notion that mixed blood people (known as mestizo/ mestiza) are better looking than the non-mixed blood “ay mesitozo/mestiza yan” a common phrase when someone got the looks, and they do well as models or in the entertainment industry but this seems to mostly apply to the fairer skinned. Richard is a tall medium built, handsome good-hearted man. However, because he does not fit the preferred mestizo look, he has been subjected to abuse and bullying, all his life. If such things that have happened to Richard, had happened here in the UK where I live, people would be in uproar.

Richard’s life has progressed bleakly without any happiness. Apart from a little help lately, from myself and an older generous sister along with my late parents, he has had no support and much abuse. His mother was incapable of providing him with any care, really needing care herself due to her autism.  His mother left him to be raised by our parents along with a half-brother. They were very poor and existed on my father’s meagre earnings as a fisherman and smallholder. None the less, they did their best to raised their grandsons, having already raised their own eight children.

He was sent to school but because institutions there were not helpful, he only got his first year in high school. They would not let him proceed because Richard could not present his birth certificate, a trivial issue that helped to destroy the child’s future. He did have his birth certificate but we’ve lost it. Of course, the record also existed in the NSO national statistics office, but we didn’t have the money to request for a copy. So that was the end of Richard’s education. He grew up unskilled, unwanted and unloved. Only my parents nanay and tatay had his best interests, at heart. I was only a child myself then so I couldn’t help either. Lacking an education meant he could only do physical jobs as a day labourer. One time when he worked as a family boy (servant), he sent his meagre pay to my mother, He sold ice lollies too to help nanay (my mother) what a kind lad.

He gets bullied anywhere he goes for just simply being black, and the name calling too.

He is condemned to a life of ceaseless misery and hell. Even his own relatives will thoughtlessly bully him by commanding him to do things as if he is a servant. If anybody tells him what to do, he will do it, poor soul. People belittled him often than not. He was conditioned into that, so he don’t know how to fight back. He was in his teens when I left home. After my mother had passed away (it’s painful to write this), he was living in a complete squalor, living on the street as my parents small house was destroyed by typhoon. He resorted to alcohol drinking and got drunk on a regular basis according to reports I heard from others. I don’t blame him for doing that. At first it was a healer then it became a problem. It is now a cycle of relentless despair, alcohol is his medicine, a bad medicine. How could someone on his circumstances gain assertion, when from an early age he was subjected to abused and bullying, I certainly would not. You don’t have to be an expert in human behaviour, to conclude that all of these are the classic example of a knock-on effect from horrible, vile, disgusting, sickening bullying he has endured. He have a nice Christian name but people call him sometimes “ Hey nigger go back to where you belong”. These relentless suffering of this poor man would overwhelm with even the most stable of upbringings. He has had this from childhood to middle age.

He had no home, no mother, his other aunties/uncle were not in a position to help him. Richard did not develop social skills, so it’s difficult for him to interact with others, having been conditioned into low self-esteem and it’s associated insecurity.

 Other people are quick to judged him as a drunken alcoholic.  I don’t condone his drinking at all, but I understand he had a reason for doing it, although not a good one. He slept on the ground, sometimes on someone benches, literally, and nothing over his head only the stars, moon, dew, and sometimes rain for company. It is only natural to take something or anything to send him to sleep or to numb the pain so that the next day he could function again, so alcohol is the most obvious for him to take. He is now so dependent on alcohol because he cannot sleep without it. I told my family here in England of what Richard had been through. I had bucket load of tears for this so unfortunate lad, my husband too. I did my best to help Richard, but my best was not good enough. He is now a middle age man, still single, never had a girlfriend and probably never will.

Fast forward. After many, many years of suffering.

I thanks God.

Richard’s respite. ALAS!

 There is a light at the end of every tunnel. The family (my sister ) acquired a plot of land, big enough for a hut with space to plant vegetables and to raise a livestock. They built a nipa hut for Richard along with his long absent mother as well, and I managed to pay for Richard’s hut, although not fit for any human by European standards, it’s still lot better than living on the street. Richard and his mother now have something they can called a home.

I/we have failed Richard in so many ways and I am so sorry. The rescue came very late, but it’s better late than never. Richard can now have a little dignity. I think nanay would be very pleased as well, if she is watching from above.

He is now working on his own, without anybody to boss him about, a big relief at last for him, for how long we don’t know. Richard is very please after all that pains he suffered, he now felt that there’s still certain good individual cared for him and help him to ease his pains even if it’s a little.

I/we hope to continue to monitor his progress in his duck raising venture. I wish him all the best of luck in the world.

The makeshift ducks pond is under construction. He only has 7 ducks to kick start. (Pending because of water issues).

Richard’s situation is slowly improving. Another good samaritan bought him a second hand motor bike, an essential tranport for doing trade from the barrio going to the capital town about 6 miles away.

Richard’s agony was my agony too. Hopefully that’s over now. He is well into his 50’s . It is such a pleasure for me to see Richard situation now is in progress for the better.

Aha! bad news. I had an update from Leyte last week. Life seems not fair, just as we thought things are running well for Richard, sometimes things happen beyond our control, it is so frustrating because their water supply from the mains keep on disconnecting (local authority’s issue). Subsequently it’s affected people and animal lives. Richard had to fitched water from the distance for household use it’s a Calvary for him and his frail mother who live in the same compound. I’m afraid the livestocks development will be hindered and this also will add more stress on these poor folks, let me emphasize here these folks have nothing and to be cut off from the very basic needs, which is the water is a matter of life and death. Oh why! Oh why? My Delaila. What now? His problem seems endless. Should I have a magic wand I would put him on top of the world before he leave in this earth full of misery/hardship. I’m dying to see good progress on Richard. But how?

Now I am recheaching for possible deep wheel water drilling, maybe, if there is a windfall so that Richard could have undisrupted water supply. Finger cross.

My informant updates me regularly of Richard’s activities, his improvement seems noticeable. It is a great pleasure upon hearing of such a good news, of course it’s excites me. Long way away yet before claiming full victory. But, hey! cammon folks, considering what he’d been through, he is already victorious. Yes he is.!

Just an update about his well being, in related to his alcohol drinking problem that has been escalated, it seems to me that there is no remedy to these, it takes some doings to come off from alcohol toxin sadly he/we are not in a position to send him to rehabilatation center to address his very issues. My good sister came up with some ideas, to collect coconut wine from coconut tree that are already in the compound so that Richard could have a drink readily available when his needs rises, so that any money that he have will goes to other stuff rather than spend in alcohol. As his skills are limited only to labouring, my sister ask local lad to do the coconut wine extraction (Sanggot in Visaya). There is a process on how to make coconut wine or tuba, some local folks knows how it is done, because if the coconut wine is not process it will turn sour which is not a bad thing if you are aiming for coco vinegar, but if it is for wine/tuba it has to be cured and the cured coconut wine is called bahal or bahalina. ‘Bahal na tuba’ is the soothe after by most folks who like to drink tuba. I agreed my sister with her ideas, so that Richard could continue to feed his alcohol addiction, well it is his medicine and is a short cut remedy. His livestock venture are thriving though and continue growing. Hooray 🙏.